Thursday, May 5, 2011

Amanda Cota

This is a story of a girl named Amanda Cota. She committed suicide in 2009. Leaving behind her loving family. She was bullied into this decision. This is a word from her mother:
"Its been a little over 2 years since I lost my beloved daughter Amanda. When you become a parent those children in your life become just that, your life! At first I did nothing but sit around numb. Not knowing what to do, I had to throw up my hands and it was like God and Amanda grabbed on. I learned the true meaning of forgiveness. I took everything I had left and started a battle, a battle to not let this happen to another child. Too many times do I hear, "oh how strong you are," but behind closed doors I break down many nights even to this day. I sometimes sit waiting to hear her radio turned up a little too loud so I could go see her and say hey turn it down a bit kiddo. The thing I really miss the most is the smell of her hair as I would brush and braid or curl it for her every other night. Do we ever heal? I think never.. do we live life after.. we have to. I found in 2 years instead of the why me, why my daughter... I say thank you God for giving me the most beautiful gift in the world for 16 years... and for that I am thankful of those 16 years, oh how many times i still find my greedy side coming out in screams, give her back to me she is mine.. but in reality she is not she was a gift to me for a short time and I was blessed. Amanda's life lives on though in 5 people who received a gift from her, I have only talked to one, he wears a pink ribbon tattoo around his small toe for he received bones from her which had built a foot for him to walk again. So I know she is still walking with us. I may not be like most, who have lost a child, due to I gave it all to God, but we all have a void with us for rest of our lives util we meet again. As parents we have only the memories to live with and those are the things I have found keeps you going, on a bad day.. a memory brings me back and eases me." Kellie Walters
If you'd like more information on this story this is her website:

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Coping with the loss of a child ...

     Whenever a child passes away, we think its an abnormal thing. No parent ever wants go through the pain and suffering when losing their child. Especially if the death occured at an early age. Some parents may feel anger and feel like its an unfair and cruel thing. Denial may also come with guilt, depending on how the child passed away, for example if the they died due to a genetic or biological cause the parent may feel like they "gave an illness to their child."
 Grieving a childs loss is different for men and women. Although the loss of a child must first be recognized by both parents in order for the grieving part to begin. The men are almost always expected to be the one to be leaned on. They are the ones who the wife can come to for support and strength, they are considered the "rock". On the otherhand, woman express their emotions out in the open. They ususally are less capable of being the ones who can be found by the husband for support or strength.


"Children are not supposed to die...Parents expect to see their children grow and mature. Ultimately, parents expect to die and leave their children behind...This is the natural course of life events, the life cycle continuing as it should. The loss of a child is the loss of innocence, the death of the most vulnerable and dependent. The death of a child signifies the loss of the future, of hopes and dreams, of new strength, and of perfection. " - Arnold and Gemma 1994, iv, 9, 39

A quote about losing a child

When a man loses his wife,
He is called a widower.
When a woman loses her husband,
She is called a widow.
When a child loses her parents,
She is an orphan.
But when a parent loses his child…
There is no name for this type of pain.
It is hard to live and has no name.

~Major Bloomberg

"The death of a child is the single most traumatic event in medicine. To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself.”

~ Dr. Burton Grebin